Martha Stewart I Am Not

In a frenzy of domestication the other day, I decided I was going to sew some clothes for Courtney. I find it outrageous that baby dresses are $40 or more for something my child will wear twice, if I'm lucky. So I went on Etsy.com, love me some Etsy, and bought a bunch of dress patterns and fabric. Then, I borrowed Tiffany's sewing machine (if you don't know Tiffany, she truly is giving Martha a run for her money), bought a bunch of fabric samples and decided I would "practice" my sewing.

Today was day one of "Karen's Special Kids Sewing Camp." Now, I don't mean to be un-PC or offend anyone, but man, it was ugly. I'm pretty sure Hunter, my furry little friend, would have had more luck than me with this little project. First I couldn't get the bobbin threaded properly. I had to step away from the machine, do a little Googling, get a drink, do some laundry and return to the machine to attempt moron task #1 again. Eventually I got it threaded. Then, I tried to sew something and things still weren't running the way they should be. After some soul searching, more Googling, and actually reading the manual, I realized the needle wasn't threaded properly. So I followed the instructions and, low and behold, I was able to sew a stitch.

My first day of drawing my freshman year in college (remember, I was an art student and all freshman in the art school had to take drawing), we spent the first 2 weeks of class (that's 10 hours people) drawing straight lines. The teacher would say, "NO, I SAID STRAIGHT!!!" 800 pieces of drawing paper later and one very sore arm, I probably had 2 truly straight lines. I share this warm, special moment with you because like drawing, I can't sew a straight line. Nope, no straight lines. And my curves were not so Jennifer Hudson voluptuous (that reminds me of drawing the naked lady in that same drawing class but that's another story for another time). They were more like drunk driving curvy - way off the mark. So now I'm taking yet another break, having sewed the fabric to itself (on purpose) during my own sewing 101, figured out the workings of the bobbin and the needle, and will maybe do a little Googling for some sewing tips.

Or, maybe I'll wake up Courtney and take her shopping for that $40 dress.

PS - Tiffany, I promise your sewing machine is in perfectly safe hands.