It's a blur

We've had a crazy couple of weeks since we left Atlanta and I'll be looking forward to getting home tomorrow. We're enjoying one final night in sunny Orlando and will hit the road tomorrow. It's going to be a long drive, having to stop every few hours to feed Courtney but it's been worth it.

We left Hartford on Friday (we being Paul, Courtney and I) and flew to Orlando. I was sad to say goodbye to my family and I'm sure they were sad to say goodbye to Courtney!! We had an excellent flight though, Courtney behaving like a champ again and arrived without incident. The Budget rental car line in the airport almost caused me to have a meltdown but that's another story.

We've had a great visit in FL with the Holder family, both immediate and distant. Courtney met many of her relatives at her great-grandmother's 90th birthday party on Saturday, which was quite a treat for us all. I'd always heard about "the farm" but have never been and was really glad to finally get to see it. For Paul it had changed a lot since his last visit but since I had nothing to compare it to, I thought it was beautiful. The party for Grandmom was a huge success with great stories and happy memories shared and new memories formed. Courtney and Erik (another new great-grand) were big hits, almost as popular as the guest of honor!

Grand mom with all the great-grand kids

We've learned a great deal about over-stimulation when it comes to Courtney. All day holding of the baby and passing her off from person to person results in a terrible evening for her mom and dad. Both Christmas day and the day of the birthday party, Courtney never laid down for a nap, and man did she have a meltdown later. Both nights there was screaming, pacing, shushing and general stress (for P and I) from 11pm - 1am or so. One night it resulted in 7 straight hours of sleep but the 2 hour meltdown was a bit more than I could handle.

It's hard to believe that Courtney is already almost 6 weeks old. I'm glad that I'm not on maternity leave as it would already would be 1/2 over, I don't know where the time has gone. She's gotten really big and pudgy and is as cute as can be. She's smiling a lot more and not all of those smiles are gas related!!

Wish us well on our journey tomorrow and let's hope that traffic isn't terrible!!

Baba and Courtney

Courtney and Baba

Four generations of Quiroses

Wednesday was a very special day for me, Courtney got to meet her great-grandmother, Cecilia (aka Baba). It was their first meeting and it was so special. Baba seemed enthralled and amazed by her namesake and I know that I was all misty and trying not to break out in tears over it all.

For those that don't know my grandmother, or have heard of her but never met her, she is an amazing woman. She came to the US as a single mom with an 8-year-old in tow to start a new life and give him all kinds of opportunities. She's succeeded far beyond what many could have expected of her, she's a remarkable woman. I feel honored to have such a wonderful person as my grandmother and am thrilled that Courtney can carry on her name. Baba said yesterday that she has some important things to tell Courtney, I can't wait to hear what they are!

Our big trip

It's been a long week since our 5.5 hour sleep stint. That night was followed up by another good night and then several bad ones. One of those nights wasn't totally Courtney's doing but a mild set back on the dogs part (he's fine, just a strain or something). Either way, I'm pooped.

But, about our big trip!! I was a mess, really nervous about our flight. We got to the airport and since Courtney isn't a big help in carrying things, I was left to carry everything. I looked like a bag lady or some novice traveler, I'm sure. However, most people were very nice and helped us through security and with all of our junk. I was nervous about sitting next to some evil man on the plane, a professional business man who was all anti-baby. That didn't happen though. Instead, I sat next to some woman who couldn't have been more anti-baby and more unfriendly. I mean, she was so cold towards us that I could have cried myself. She needn't have been a beotch though, Courtney was an ANGEL!!! She made nary a peep for 99% of the flight and when she did make a peep, I fed her and she immediately stopped making noise. She slept the entire way, didn't spit up on me (or the evil lady, too bad) and was as cute as could be. What a relief!! Grandpa and grandma met us in Hartford, all of our luggage arrived and we were whisked away, no problems anywhere. YAY!!

Courtney seems to be experiencing some type of growth spurt or something as she ate all night long (and all day today for that matter) and allowed me to get no sleep at all. I think she misses her daddy and their special tummy snuggling before bed time. I know personally I miss Paul terribly, not just because I miss him but because this single parent thing is HARD. I have a whole new respect for single parents, I just can't imagine.

5.5 Hours!!!

WOW!! Sleep for the adults!! It was awesome!! Courtney let us sleep from a little before midnight until 5:40 this morning. Amazing. I feel like a new person.

We're off to CT on Tuesday and I'm a bit of a mess about the flight, it's just Courtney and I, no Paul. I mean, it is what it is and there's nothing I can do about it but I'm worried about the take off and landing, a screaming baby, all the stuff, what do I do if I have to pee, a screaming baby, some mean, anti-baby guy sitting next to me, all while Courtney is yelling and screaming and carrying on. It's stressing me out!! And we have to pack. Courtney has TONS of clothes to choose from while I, still 10 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight, don't have quite as many choices of things to wear. I guess that just means I won't have much to pack.... However, since we're packing for CT and FL, all in the same trip, we're going to have LOTS of stuff!!

Courtney is getting so big! She has little fat rolls on her arms and legs and her face has really filled out. She's smiling at me here and there when I make loud kissing noises and even looks a little entertained by my antics. She does this adorable stretching routine when she wakes up that I definitely have to capture on video. What do you think these little people are thinking about? She looks so serious sometimes....

What a difference a night can make

Chillin' in the boppy

Last night was awesome, as awesome as can be expected. Courtney went down for bed at 10:30, woke up at 2:15 or so and then not again until 7. It was fabulous!!! I never thought being awake from 2:15 - 3:15am would considered fabulous, but it was. Knock on wood that we can get another night like last night!!

Our First Tummy Time

And tummy time is over....

What a week!

It seems like an eternity since I posted last on Monday. I've drafted this post at least 100 times in my mind, mostly at 1am, 2am, 3am and so on but never seem to get around to it during the day.

I went to the doctor on Monday and it turned out that I had an infection, not in my incision but in the skin underneath that. I was running a pretty high fever a couple of nights in a row and I ended up on antibiotics. It wasn't horribly painful but it looked terrible and got pretty nasty there for a while. It seems to be doing much better now and the odds are good that I'm going to survive.

Courtney continues to be a love. We'd had some really bad nights and one where I ended up being awake from 1ish until almost 6. I think the exhaustion causes my tears to flow freely and I had a total breakdown the other night. (I almost had one in the vets office this morning but managed to keep it together.) Courtney continues to be a really happy baby and I can't help but love all over her.

We did have the wonderful folks from Mom's on Call come out yesterday morning and help us through some things. She showed us how to trim Courtney's nails (and she trimmed them for us), how to give her a bath and walk through the night time routine, how to swaddle her in a way that she can't break her little arms out and how to develop a schedule. She's awfully young to be on a schedule but it's good to know that we have something to shoot for.

Paul has been amazing through all of this. He's been taking care of me, the baby and the dog, all at once. My guess is that he's sleeping at his desk during the day because it's not like he's getting much here. He's been a saint for sure and is up for Father/Husband of the Year.

Strike a Pose

Already with the beauty queen poses!!

We continue to have good nights and bad nights. Last night was a bad night - Courtney ate at least every 90 minutes. I'd finish feeding her and get 10-15 minutes of sleep and she'd be up to eat again. And it wasn't like she'd nurse for the usual 15 minutes or so but for 45 minutes to an hour at a time. Needless to say, it was an exhausting night!!

My c-section incision seems to have taken on a life of it's own and I need to go to the doctor today to get it checked. My guess is that it needs to be drained (sorry for all the info) but I'm hoping whatever they do to it, they can do it at the office and it's painless.

Today is our first day home alone. Courtney and I have been home alone for short bursts here and there but today it's just the two of us all day!! So far so good!!

I hope I have enough warm clothes for her for our outing to the doctors, it's snowing out!!!

A Week Old and So Much to Be Thankful For

We have survived the first week and none of us are worse for the wear (except maybe Hunter, the dog). We are developing a night time routine that seems to work 80% of the time. I'm no more awake or cognizant now than I was a week ago but maybe I don't need to be quite as awake to feed as I did a week ago. We even ventured out into the world yesterday, we went for pizza for lunch, and of course she was an angel. The family at the table behind us couldn't have been genuinely happier for us.

Courtney is adorable and we probably have a million pictures of her sleeping - I know, not very exciting. But we love her more with each passing day and wonder how we survived without her in our lives before.

My parents have been hugely helpful and it's been great having them here with us. Mom's even making us Thanksgiving dinner tonight - woohoo!!

Well, it's feeding time for Courtney. For someone so incredibly small, she sure does eat a lot.

And now we're home

Courtney, 30 minutes or so old and very unhappy!!

Sleeping Beauty

We finally got home from the hospital on Sunday afternoon. We were set and ready to go around noon but the OB was MIA and phoned in our release around 3. Needless to say, we'd been sitting around for so long, waiting and waiting, that by the time our awesome nurse came in with the "ok", we were all in a coma. I mean, we were out. The nurse, Margi - the best nurse ever, had been working on getting us released for hours. Needless to say, once she got the ok, we were out of there in about 10 minutes. It was a crazy, whirlwind time. I mean, I had been in a sleeping coma 5 minutes before and now it's TIME-TO-GO-NOOOOW and really, I needed to pee.

The nice tech wheeled us out and took us OUTSIDE in the COLD while we waited for Paul to get the car. She had a lovely conversation on her phone while Courtney and I sat there shivering. Once Paul pulled the car up and got our stuff loaded (which had quadrupuled since we'd been there, even though we had barely left the room), we had to tackle the car seat. Here we are, outside the hospital, it's coooold out, Courtney is swaddled up tight and not at all ready to be placed in her seat and we've only once put anything in a carseat - a doll for practice. Needless to say, it didn't go well. Once we drove about 5 feet, I had Paul pull over so I could try it again. I'm still not sure she was in there right, I think she is too small. We're going to need to figure it out before our pediatricians appointment tomorrow.

I was on roll with my post and then got distracted and now I'm so tired I can't remember what I was going to say. More later, if I can remember....

Courtney Cecilia is Here!!

Our beautiful baby girl has arrived!! Courtney Cecilia was born on November 20th at 12:34am. She weighed 6lbs 11 oz and measured 20 inches long. She's just beautiful!!

It was quite the experience. I went into the OB for my 9am appointment and was told that my blood pressure was high and it was time to get to the hospital. Right that minute! Paul and I headed over and we were pretty nervous and excited. We checked in to room A-1, we thought that was a good sign, and the fun began. I was hooked up to the petocin and had my water broken around 12:30 or so. There was a LOT of sitting and waiting while we waited for things to happen. I think I finally got the epidural around 4:30, a good 30 minutes too late, at least. I was in crazy pain, maybe I'm a wimp but the epidural was so worth it. I don't know why you wouldn't get one, given the option - I loved it!! Around 9:30 I was told that I was 7-8cm and for the next couple of hours, I didn't budge at all. However, I was in incredible pain and had to call the anesthesiologist in for more drugs. At 11:45 the midwife and the OB came in to let me know that they weren't happy with the progress I was making and every time I had a contraction, the babies heart beat was dropping too low. They had decided that I would need an emergency c-section (as in, I needed it right-that-minute) and within seconds there were tons of people in my room. It all happened very quickly and I was really nervous. Never, in all 40 weeks, had I envisioned myself getting cut open. I had always envisioned giving birth, having the baby on me immediately after she was out, and being alert for all the bathing and everything and that's definitely not what happened. The anesthesiologist threw Paul's outfit at him and he got all dressed and I was whisked to the OR. They didn't let Paul in right away but he came in after a few minutes.

It wasn't a terrible experience but it certainly wasn't enjoyable. There was a drape in my face and Paul was by my head. I was awake for all of it and could feel some tugging and lots of pressure but it was all very surreal. I had no idea what was going on and it seemed like it took forever for Courtney to come out. All of a sudden, the doctor told Paul to stand up and get the camera and there she was. She was crying and making all kinds of noise but I didn't really get to see her. They took her to the warming station about 10 feet behind me and Paul went over with her. I could kind of see what they were doing but couldn't really see her well but I could hear her and they finally brought her over to me so I could see her. Of course, I was crying but they were still working on me, putting me back together and I couldn't hold her or anything.

Paul and Courtney went off to the recovery room and the doctor told Paul that I'd be in recovery in about 15 minutes. (Disclaimer to the queasy here.) Apparently, there was a lot of blood from my uterus and they couldn't get it to stop so it took a long time to get me all back together - sew it up and put it back in place. I could feel a lot of pressure and tugging and pulling and it was very unnerving. They finally finished up though and wheeled me off to recovery.

In the meantime, Courtney was bathed and had all of the tests run on her (she scored a 9.9 on her Apgar - an overachiever already) and P was there to take pictures and video. He was worried about me though because it was taking so long for them to get me into recovery and no one would tell him anything. And, of course, he wasn't allowed back into the OR to see what was going on.

Needless to say, I finally arrived in recovery where I finally got to hold Courtney and take my first shot at feeding her. She's so amazing. She's so tiny and adorable and beautiful and has so many little facial expressions - and that was all in the first 5 minutes of meeting her.

We didn't get to our room until close to 4 and Thursday proved to be a very long day. Lots of doctors and nurses, in and out all day but each day is better than the last and we're all getting along very well as a family. Of course, we're still in the hospital so we're pretty self contained in our little cocoon of a room but that's ok.

My folks come in later today and we'll get to go home tomorrow. I'm really looking forward to getting home and being back with our own things.

I love being a mommy and just love my little girl. It's so amazing how quickly one can be overcome with feelings over a 6lb little person.

And I would be remiss not to mention that Paul has been an amazing husband, helper and dad. He's been a HUGE help with everything from diapers to getting me water and peanut butter crackers, burping and washing bottles and everything. I think we're both very lucky that there's a McDonalds in the hospital to keep him well fed with Egg McMuffins. I just love my little family and couldn't be happier.

Still....

Pregnant.
Just waiting for my doctors appointment tomorrow.
But today, I'm still pregnant.
And uncomfortable.
And I can't wait to meet my little girl.
But she needs to hurry up and get here.
I think I'm going CRAZY!!

Just thought you all wanted to know.

Still Pregnant

Well, the eggplant didn't work. Twice it didn't work. We went again on Friday night and I had leftovers on Saturday for lunch and no baby yet. I've eaten pineapple, drank the raspberry tea, this that and the other and no luck. However, I do know there's an end in sight.

I had a doctors appointment on Wednesday and LBH is still hanging out, in the warmth. (I can't say I blame her, it's cold here.) She's not really doing much of anything, including making progress. I did get an ultrasound and they've estimated her at 7.2 pounds, give or take 1/2 a pound (I've also read that the ultrasound can be off by as much as 2 pounds), I'm hoping to take 1/2 a pound. If I haven't delivered by my appointment on Wednesday, they'll check me in Weds night and I'll be induced Thursday morning. So, if all goes well, I should have a baby by Thursday!! EEEEKKK!!!

I'm so excited for this phase to be over. People say all the time that I'm small but that doesn't make me feel any better. I'm terribly uncomfortable, I can't sleep, my bladder is getting stomped on regularly, and I'm running out of clothes. I know that this is the "easy" part but I feel like I'm ready for the next challenging but rewarding part of life. If only LBH would get here...

Did it work?

We went to Scalini's for dinner last night where I ordered the infamous Eggplant Parm. Scalini's is "known" for their eggplant parm inducing labor in women. If it's going to work, it will supposedly work within 48 hours. It's been about 13 hours, nothing yet. Keep your fingers crossed!!

If nothing else, the dinner was really good and it made Paul's "list" of places we'd go back to. That's good because if it doesn't work, we're going back next weekend.

No progress

I went to the doctor today and it was a very disappointing and unexciting visit. The midwife said I'm only 1cm dilated with no real progress. No effacement, no dropping, no nothing. UGH!!! I'm very uncomfortable and would like to meet this little lady already. I asked when we could pick a date to induce, if we get to that point, and the evil lady said not for another couple of weeks. A couple of weeks!!!! If anyone has any suggestions on what I can do to get this show going, please let me know. I'm over being pregnant and want to see my baby girl!!

Time to...

Make the donuts? OK, not so much. Time to have a baby. Apparently that's less likely to happen than my making donuts. I've officially reached the "uncomfortable" phase and every little move LBH makes is about as subtle as dropping a brick on your toe. She's still all over the place and crazy active and there have been a few times when I've had to push back. Literally. I'll officially be "full-term" on Friday and LBH will be fully baked (the turkey popper - my belly button - has already popped), meaning she can come anytime and all will be right with her little world.

People keep asking me if I'm ready and I have no idea. I do have everything I think I need for her arrival. I definitely have enough diapers for the first few days, at the very least. I have a million wipes too, that ought to last a week. But no, we're not ready, I don't know that anyone is ever really ready. We have a baby essentials class on Saturday, that will get us the slightest bit closer but still not ready.

As for me, I'm ready. Let's get this party started.

And life goes on

I'm not sure if I'm employed or not but there isn't much I can do about it at the moment. I did apply for another role with the company but I'm on the fence about it I want it and if I want to stay. Of course, if I interview and I do get the position, I'll be staying as that's my only option. Whatever, we'll see how things go.

In the meantime, on to happier and more interesting things!! We had an excellent weekend with my mom, P's mom and his sisters. We seemed to see everyone at most meals this weekend, as any good family gathering should be. Janet had brought a bunch of things for me and for the nursery so that's all set and I'm much more prepared than I was.

I also had my fabulous baby shower this weekend! My friends Tiffany and Caroline, and my sister-in-law Ellen, got together and hosted the most fabulous baby shower ever!! As is Tiffany's style, she prepared a delicious and wonderful meal (I understand Ellen cooked too) and it was all too good to be true. Caroline ordered the cutest cake ever (pix to be posted when I can get a copy of it) - it was almost too fabulous to cut!! It was so great that my friends could come and help me celebrate as well as a bunch of family - it was all terrific!! My mom and I were raving on and on about it all day yesterday! I just loved it all and I love my friends! (I must be gushing with hormones at the moment.)

We have our first baby "class" tonight which isn't actually a class at all but a tour of the hospital. We then have another class this weekend and the following weekend. Really, there's only a month to go!! EEEEK!!

Interesting times

With only a month or so left until LBH arrives, I find myself in an interesting and potentially unfortunate position. My position with my employer was "eliminated" and my last day could be 11/7, depending on how the wind blows. I do have some potential options with the company if I choose to try and apply for them and stay. Or, I have the interesting opportunity to stay home with LBH for 6 months or so and then try and find a new job. There's a lot of appeal in not working for 4-6 months and spending that time with my baby. There's also the opportunity for me to get cabin fever, crave adult interation and have my head pop off. Who knows.

I've enjoyed my stint with my employer, 7.5 years. They've been good to me, treated me well and I've met some really fabulous people and lifelong friends (not to mention my wonderful husband). But maybe this is my time to find a new career option, test some new waters and see what else the world has to offer.

Either way, I'm having a baby in a month or so and I'm hugely excited!

The nursery

It's kind of hard to tell what the nursery looks like in these pictures but, here we are anyway. I really like the room and am pleased with how everything turned out. I'm also pleased that I'm done with the room and don't have to worry about that anymore.

I'm having a hard time moving for long stretches of time. I had to run some errands today and had to do a fair bit of walking. I'm spent and my feet/ankles hurt. I actually could have skipped the last two places as I was so tired but I needed to get these things accomplished. And of the 4 or 5 places I went, I had to use the bathroom everywhere. I'm tired of spending so much time in the bathroom...

LBH is nuts. Last night my stomach looked like there was an alien in there or something. As I sit and type this, she's all over the place again.

I'm really getting excited for her arrival. I can't wait to see her and smell her and get to hold her and love her. Paul's getting pretty excited too. We don't have a clue what to do with a baby, or how to care for her, but we'll learn quickly and I'm sure we'll make great parents.

Laaaarge

Check out my pregnant self!! This was week 33, the day before Kevin and Joyce got married!! I was feeling good all weekend, just like a small pregnant lady. All of my cousins and family friends said I was looking good, not that big. Then I saw my profile in my bridesmaid dress and decided that everyone was lying. I'm HUGE!! Holy crap I'm big!!

Friday was a long day. I spent a lot of time standing and the baby didn't like that plan. I was having crazy pains in my side and finally had to sit down. I was very careful Saturday but it was a crazy long day. Lots of walking and standing and spending time on my feet. I didn't get to dance as much as I would have liked because by the time the dancing really got going, I was sitting with my feet up.

Yesterday was my first day back in the office after two weeks out of town. Apparently I've grown quite a bit. All yesterday and today I heard, "wow, you've gotten really big!" or, "wow, you're huge!" Thanks peeps.

As Paul likes to point out, my feet are wiiiiide.

So tired

I've had a really nice visit in CT but man, I'm SOOOO tired!! I haven't slept through the night since I traveled to New York, 9 days ago. Waking up to go to the bathroom is one thing but waking up and staying up for hours is another. I either can't fall asleep, I can't stay asleep, or I wake up crazy early. I'm about to fall apart. I'm sure I have big huge bags under my eyes. It doesn't seem to matter what time I go to sleep or if I take a nap during the day, I just can't sleep. Maybe this is my bodies way of getting me ready for when LBH arrives and while I understand that and am all for it (rah rah), I really need to get some sleep.

I had a very nice baby shower last night hosted by some of my moms bestest friends. It was really very nice. There were lots of people there and the food was delicious. Oh, and the cake was PHAT!! Hehe. LBH received some beautiful outfits (lots and lots of pink) and adorable little booties. We also received a beautiful hand knitted blanket and hat. I feel so fortunate to have received such wonderful gifts from our family friends. With each passing day, and each passing event, LBH's arrival just gets closer and closer and I get more and more excited.

Oh oh!! I can now officially say: I'll be having a baby next month!! WOW!

It's raining in CT

I've been telling myself that once I get through my brothers wedding, I'm officially in the "home stretch." Well, I'm in CT now and the wedding is next week! I had my fitting for the dress yesterday and while the monstrous dress I ordered wasn't as big as I hoped it would be, it was still too large. I guess that's a good sign.

I've been sleeping terribly this week. I've woken up every day at either 4:15 or 5:30, not an hour I'm a fan of. And while I've fallen back to sleep every morning, I've been awake long enough to be totally messed up. I have a wicked headache at the moment and I've been feeling hungover (a sad feeling when you can't drink).

I was in NYC from Monday through Thursday afternoon. I haven't been in probably 3 or 4 years and I was excited to get there. What I've discovered is that NY is tough when you have to pee every 3 blocks. In addition, living in Atlanta all these years has made me a non-walker. I walked about 40 blocks on Tuesday and thought I was going to die. I'm just not used to walking anywhere. Lastly, I don't know that I've ever realized how many people in NY smoke. Maybe it's because you can't smoke inside anywhere but it seemed like there was smoke everywhere. Normally I would be a little put off by it but this time I was a bit repulsed. I know I'm uber sensitive to it but still, it seemed extreme.

It's supposed to rain here all weekend, go figure. Maybe I'll go to the movies.

The final countdown

I can't believe I only have NINE weeks to go!! I mean, that's single digits people. Or, you could say I'm due two months from today. HOLY CRAP!! Where has the time gone?? Oh boy. Or girl.

I "finished" the nursery today! I finished hanging the window treatments and put up the wall decals. I did order a couple of more decals but haven't gotten them yet. I'm also doing my first of millions of loads of baby laundry. When I get back from NY and CT, I don't want to have to worry about the nursery as I'll have a million other things to worry about.

Paul is in Panama surfing and I'm a solo pregnant lady. I'm not a fan of vacationing separately (which we've each done this year), we're going to have to nip that in the bud in the future.

My belly is biiiigggg!! Well, at least I think it's big, my hairdresser yesterday said I looked pretty small. She's a week ahead of me and much larger than I am. I guess it's all relative.

Has anyone seen....

My feet? I can't see them. I wonder if they're still there. I'm sure the toenail polish looks terrible but what do I know, I can't see them. I wonder if my shoes match. Oh well, summer is almost over so I guess no one's looking at my feet.

Roooound

Things are getting bigger and rounder. My face. My feet. My fingers. My face. My butt. My legs. My face. Actually, my feet aren't terribly swollen yet but if I stand for too long, they definitely get bigger. My face is getting bigger and I'm not a fan. As for my fingers, I had to retire my wedding ring the other day. And when I say "retire", I mean in the Lance Armstrong/Brett Favre kind of way. It'll be making a comeback next season. And I won't really blog about my butt but it's safe to say that it has taken on a life of its own. Deeepressing!

I hit a consignment sale this evening and found a little rocker/glider chair for not much. I really think they're ugly but if I can get one waaay discounted, I'll invest. I was also able to get a little chest of drawers to use next to said rocker/glider for a mere $3. I'll need to strip it and repaint it and if it looks terrible, I'll be down $3 (or $20, depending on what I invest in paint and supplies).

Oh, and get this, TEN WEEKS TO GO!!! TEN!!! And next week we'll be down to SINGLE DIGITS!! Eeeeeeekkkk!!

Progress

We had some actual progress at the house this weekend. Not only did we get the drain in our tub fixed (after a year of it not working at all), the huge gap in the front door repaired, and the water damage in our bathroom ceiling fixed but, we also got the nursery painted and some crown molding put up!! VERY exciting weekend here at the Holders. The nursery was painted a light green color and looks great. LBH's nursery is going to look very cute when the room is all decorated. Another big step today was getting the crib put together. Fortunately I found the directions for the crib on the web or I never would have gotten it together. I'm glad to know that LBH will not have to sleep on the floor.

Next weekend will be our last quiet weekend before things get crazy. We have 5 or 6 weeks of something every single weekend and that puts us squarely into November. Holy crap, November!

A Rough Night

Week 27 has transitioned to week 28 and all has been mostly uneventful, until last night. I woke up around 3 with intense pains in my upper abdomen, below my ribs. The pain was off and on for a couple of hours, I wasn't sure if I was having preterm labor or what it could be. In the meantime, LBH was going nuts. She was dancing and practicing her soccer kick and perhaps doing a little kickboxing in there for good measure. I kept thinking, there can't be a problem if she's so active. I was also thinking, this is nothing like the contraction pain I've read about, the pains aren't lasting long enough and they're too high to be true contractions. But the pain wouldn't go away. Around 4:15am, the power goes out and scares the crap out of me. The good news is that it woke up Paul so I wasn't worried about preterm labor all on my own. I decided to call the doctor who called me back immediately but couldn't really tell me much over the phone. She said that it could possibly be gall bladder pain or indigestion (for the record, I hadn't actually had anything spicy for dinner) and to wait an hour or so. If the pain got worse then I should go to the hospital otherwise go back to sleep. I guess I eventually fell back to sleep but it was a rough night. I'm glad that all seems ok but you know I'll be paranoid about every ache and pain.

The home stretch

It's the home stretch. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. It's the final countdown. What am I talking about? Well, depending on what website/book you read, I'm officially in my third trimester. And since I'm only 27 weeks, that means that light is very weak but it's there.

The prospect of being 2/3 of the way through this journey is pretty daunting and a little stressful. OK, a lot stressful but it sure is exciting. I'm not really sure where the 27 weeks have gone, it seems like only yesterday that I found out I was pregnant and LBH was the size of a raisin. Now she's a full-fledged person measuring in at 15 inches from head to toe. FIFTEEN INCHES!!! I certainly hope she doesn't decide to stretch out, arms reaching over her head!!

Other than this irritating pain in my ass, I've enjoyed being pregnant. I love feeling her moving around in my stomach and I can sit and stare at my stomach for hours. It's really quite amazing. However, as much as I've enjoyed that, I really can't wait to meet her!!

Knocked up...Or is it laid up

I was "cleaning" last night as we were having an out of town guest over for dinner. Cleaning to me means I was taking all the crap lying around and throwing it in closets and behind closed cabinets to create the appearance that we're neat people. (If you ever come over, please don't open anything as you could get injured.) Anyway, my "house cleaning" techniques aside, I was pretty uncomfortable yesterday - pain in my back, butt and down my left leg. I put some crap in the ottoman and clearly bent over wrong because all of a sudden I was seeing stars and could hardly walk. I was doubled over in pain and almost in tears. The remainder of my evening was all downhill from there. I've never experienced pain quite like that (well, maybe when I dislocated my elbow but they gave me drugs for that), it was awful. I spent the night in pain, rolling over was excruciating, I couldn't get comfortable and this morning I could hardly walk.

First thing this morning I got on the phone to a chiropractor. I spent some time on ice (icing the wrong body part) and headed to the doctor. Of course, this is all very common, it happens to pregnant women all the time. He bended me and twisted me and flipped me all over the place. I don't know if it helped but the short term assessment is that it didn't. I do have to go back tomorrow. And then probably all the time for the next 3 months. Whatever. As long as I can walk and sleep, I'll do whatever it takes.

Oh, a dream note. I don't remember the dream and what it was about but I do remember a heaping plate of bacon, eggs, potatoes, and toast. Hmmmm, gooood.

Pain in the a**

Wow, am I uncomfortable. My butt is killing me! I met with my trainer today and he had me lunging all over the place and no matter what kind of torture faces I made, he wouldn't cave. I was uncomfortable before I got there and spent an hour or so last night with the heating pad. I have a feeling that tonight I'll be moaning and groaning on the couch and every time I get up to pee, it's going to be excruciating. What I don't understand is that LBH is what, 2 pounds or so, and I'm already this uncomfortable. How does that happen?

Last night was a rough night for me, as seems to be the norm these days. Actually, my nights seem to get worse every night. For starters, I couldn't fall asleep. Too much on my mind, I guess. And then, at 4:45 there was this beeping noise and it was progressively getting louder and louder. I thought for sure someone was walking down the hall and they were going to chop us up with a beeping machete or something. But no, it was the alarm clock in the bathroom. The cleaning people were at the house on Friday and must have inadvertently turned it on for Monday morning at 4:45 sharp. But by the time I figured out what it was, I was already having heart palpitations and was about to duck under the bed. (Not that I'd fit under the bed...) From that point on I was having weird dreams (why did FedEx show up at 3 in the morning? Oh wait, that was a dream.) and couldn't get comfortable. I know this is all my bodies way of getting me ready for the big day but I could use 2 more months of sleep before I need to start getting ready.

The dreams just get weirder

I almost wonder if I'm better off not sleeping at night. My dreams are just getting stranger and stranger and sometimes very disturbing. For example: I had a dream that my friends husband killed someone but she didn't want to turn him in. As he was the father of her children, she was happy just divorcing him and keeping him out of jail. All for the sake of the children. Another odd dream: I was in a sketchy neighborhood with some people that I new and we were in some car, in a very scary house. And something about my friend was gay but then he wasn't anymore but his partner didn't know and I wasn't allowed to tell him. And then the bad dream: Hunter (my wonderful dog) was in the pool and he drown. There was a ladder in the pool and you could tell that he was trying to get out via the ladder but he wasn't successful (why would he be able to climb a ladder anyway?) and he died. I was not a fan of that one.

With dreams like that, would you sleep well?

Getting ready

It was a busy weekend in the Holder house this past weekend. And in an attempt to be 100% transparent, I didn’t do much of anything. Paul was a busy man though. He emptied the office of all kinds of crap and moved it all to the basement. He then broke down the guest room and moved that to the office, only to have to move it again when we decided the furniture was too large for the room. I’m not sure if it was my panic attack last week or all the people asking us how we were coming along with the nursery but he completely knocked it out. The next step is for our “do anything guy” to come in and paint it and put up crown molding. And then we can tackle the nursery furniture!!

We went to a neighborhood party over the weekend and it was quite the eye-opener to see how many kids there are in our neighborhood!! We had no idea. Lots of toddlers and babies running around (ok, the toddlers were running, not the babies). LBH will make baby #5 for 2008, the 4th girl just this year! There’s definitely something in the water in our neighborhood so be careful if you come and visit!!

24 weeks

I had my latest doctors appointment today, it was a thrill a minute. I had the glucose test today, testing for gestational diabetes. I had to drink this concoction that I think they were trying to mask as fruit punch but it was certainly not fruit punch. The appointment went fine, I don't get the results for 7 - 10 days or so, so we'll see about that. I did get to hear the heartbeat, which was strong at 130 bpm. I'm right on track, no issues no problems.

I did learn something a little unnerving today though. The midwife told me that she'll see me again in 4 weeks and then after that, I got every TWO weeks!! I do that for a few visits and then I go EVERY WEEK!!! OMG! Already? Am I already so far along that I'm approaching the 2 week stage? I can't believe I'm that far along, it's almost the home stretch. Can I even begin to tell you all the things that we have to do to get ready? OK, kind of freaking out. (I also realized that we have something every weekend in October which cuts out on all kinds of prep time...)

Maybe I'll go buy some paint for the room....

Dream On

My dreams continue to get weirder and weirder with every passing day. The other night there was something about a "boat show" in one of those scenes from an old show like CHIPS. You know the car chases where they go down this steep cement embankment and they're in a waterless causeway or something, 20 foot high barriers on either side? I have no idea what that's called but these motor boats were flipping and whizzing in and out of barriers and flipping over. And there was something about a mountain trail and Hunter was there and he was crazy thirsty so I had to lead him to water. It was odd.

This morning, I had two very bad dreams that I won't repeat as they're scary and quite depressing. There was a third but I can't remember what it was. Nothing like being left with the memory of the bad ones.

I'm in CT (got here yesterday) and am heading off to NH today with my mom. We had a crazy thunderstorm last night and the lightening was like a strobe light. Needless to say, I was awake from 4 - 6:30 or so, my mind wandering everywhere while I wasn't sleeping. And I don't know if LBH is like this every morning at 4:30am but she was off the charts crazy. If I didn't know any better, I'd have been worried that she was going to come out through my naval. And really, I LOVE it!!

Dreams

As some of you know, I've been having the craziest dreams. They are always incredibly vivid, very memorable and sometimes they are quite hysterical. A couple of times I've had to think long and hard, "did that really happen or was it just a dream?" One time I even had to ask Paul if it had been true (it hadn't). I've decided that those that are appropriate, I really need to start writing down.

So for last night...

I had my first dream about the labor and delivery. Labor was all a blur, I wasn't even sure I'd had the epidural. It was like I had labor amnesia or something. But in my dream it wasn't that bad. I distinctly remember the lady telling me to push harder. Then we were checking out of the hospital but it was more like the vets office than the hospital. My baby girl was a boy and then a girl and kept shrinking until he/she was like 3 inches tall. Oh, and he/she could talk immediately. He/she said something quite adorable and everyone in the waiting room was all, "awwwwww." Then we were in the car and the car seat was gone and he/she was rocking all over the place. I was yelling at Brian Q about it and he couldn't seem to figure out how to stabilize the baby. Don't know where Brian came from but there he was. And then there was something about an airport and a HUGE plane and for some reason we were on the tarmac and Brian wouldn't cover him/her in the rain. So weird.

The night before I had a very vivid dream that my car got hit by a car that ran this four way stop that I go through almost every day. I went into early labor and everything. It was terrible.

Every night is a new adventure!

Feeling pregnant

All of a sudden I seem to have popped. Over the past several weeks, depending on what I was wearing, some days I looked pregnant and some days I didn't. I think those days are behind me. I am pretty much looking pregnant every day. And feeling it too. My lower back is very uncomfortable and I've been getting weird pains in my lower abs (more consistently than before). Oh, and I have Braxton-Hicks every now and again. I know it's all natural, part of the experience and all that, I guess I just didn't expect it to happen so soon. A couple of times this week I had to use the heating pad on my back. It definitely helps but really, I haven't gained that much weight and I'm not that big yet. What am I going to feel like in 3 months when I'm much bigger and who knows what I've gained?

LBH is now about 7-8" long and weighs almost a pound. I think she may be a gymnast at some point, she's somersaulting all over the place!

A name?

Paul and I have been kind of working on a name for LBH since we found out we were having a girl. We both made lists, we'd compare our lists, decide nothing, and then move on to something else. Or, one of us would throw out a name and the other would reply with an "eh" or something equally reaffirming. Today we sat down and went through our lists and we actually picked a name!! Of course, I can't tell you what it is. You'll have to wait until November but it was surprisingly easy and we really like it.

LBH is moving a lot more every day. I don't know what the heck she's doing in there but she's thumping and moving all over the place.

We went to visit our friends Megan, Christian and their beautiful new baby girl, Julia. Megan is doing amazingly well and little Julia is so beautiful. I held her until she started to scream and then gave her back (not an option I'll enjoy later). I'll tell you though, I can't wait to hold my own little one. It felt very natural to hold a tiny little baby. And, of course, I almost started to cry but I managed to keep it all together.

Dolls vs Trucks

As I'm sure you can imagine, I wasn't much of a girly-girl when I was little. I preferred trucks to dolls, legos to Barbi's and pants to frilly Gunny Sack dresses. There's a family story about how when I was 2 or 3, my great-aunt Tia made a bet with her friend of hers. She bet that I would like a truck more than I would like a doll. I got the Hess Gas Truck for Christmas that looked something like this:



And I guess there was a doll but I have no idea what it looked like. I'm sure you can guess who the winner was.

As I'm sure you can imagine, my mom was very dismayed by this. I mean, here she had this little girl who wanted nothing to do with all the things that make girls girls.

Welcome to the present day. My mom is determined that LBH is going to be a girly-girl. Last week she sent 2 very pink dresses. Today she sent this, complete with a crib!!


I'm not sure what one does with a doll. If anyone finds a Hess truck in the next couple of years, please send it my way. I'm going to need all the help I can get against Grandma Q.

Half way?

At this point, I'm officially 1/2 way through my pregnancy. That could be 1/2 way, depending on when the little lady decides to make her debut. I can't believe that we're already half-way to making a little person. Granted, the first 4 weeks or so I didn't know I was pregnant so that certainly made things go faster. But 20 weeks isn't really a long time. And, in the next 20 weeks I have 2 week long vacations and a trip to NYC and all that will make the time go even faster. Before we know it, it will be November and none of my coats will fit and the little lady will be here! WOW!!

I've been feeling more movement lately, mostly at night. I can't make out arms or legs yet but there's definitely someone in there, flipping around and tickling my insides.

I did go to Babie's R Us today and bought a couple of adorable little outfits. No pink though, I think my mom will cover that color for me...

Pretty in Pink

"It's" a GIRL!!! We couldn't be more excited. Of course, I'd be so excited if it were a boy but still, just knowing that "it" is a "she" is awesome!! We had an amazing appointment today. We got to see every little detail - 10 fingers and 10 toes, perfect little lips, all the right parts in all the right places and even the blood flowing in her heart. Oh, and she was opening and closing her mouth and even stuck her tongue out. It was incredible. I cried, of course. Not that it wasn't real before but now it's all incredible real!

Now for some fun stuff - names and nursery colors and all the planning (yay to finally plan something!) that goes along with having a baby. We aren't going to tell people her name, something needs to be a surprise, so she'll remain LBH for now.

18 weeks and 3 days

Time just moves along, slowly. Things here are going pretty well.

• I had to invest in a body pillow the other night as I haven't been sleeping well at all. The pillow definitely helps.
• I felt the need to invest in some more maternity clothes as I already hate everything I own.
• We got our first baby gift today!! I think we now have a total of 3 things for LBH.
  
• I have the CRAZIEST dreams ever: people get fired, family we never see takes their medical degree to a whole new level or I try to get fired by throwing balls at coworkers. These dreams are on an entire new level!!

But, the most exciting bit of news for this week is that we're only 7 days away from finding out what we're having!! I had to reschedule my next appointment and it actually got moved up TWO weeks!! So, next Monday (the 30th) at 11:30 we'll go in for our 20 week appointment and we get to see if we're having a boy or a girl!!

YAY!!! I can't wait to start working on names and nursery colors and all kinds of exciting things!

Birthday's and Anniversary's

I'll start today with the really good news: I heard from the doctor's office and Paul is NOT a carrier for cystic fibrosis so we're off the hook there. What a relief!!

In the Holder household, it is the season of birthday's and anniversary's. This year they are a little bit different though. On the eve of my 30-something birthday, I am a little taken aback at the thought that this is my last birthday without a little someone in tow. I guess that means that it's the last birthday where I can get away with a celebration without having to worry about entertaining a small child. Of course, this will hopefully be the only birthday that I will celebrate without at least one glass of wine....

And our first anniversary is coming up this week and again, it will be the only one we have that's just the two of us. H0w weird. We're going to go to our favorite restaurant, have a fabulous meal, no wine for me and enjoy one another's company. Next year we'll probably go for Mexican food and if we're lucky, Ellen will babysit...

I'm not sad by this exciting change in our lives, it's just a little weird to think that things like this no longer impact just me or just the two of us. There will be 3 of us (and maybe someday 4 of us) to consider for everything. How strange.

Tiny bubbles

My first really exciting pregnancy moment occurred on Saturday morning, while trying to fall back to sleep - I felt the baby!!! It was just like I'd read/heard about - little bubbles or butterfly wings and if I hadn't known what to be looking for, I'd have completely missed it. It was SO cool!! I actually tried giggling my stomach around to make it happen again but no such luck. I know it'll happen again so I'll just have to try and be patient (I'm so bad about that!) and wait and see what happens next.

I had a couple of crazy dreams the other day too. I dreamt that I went in for an ultrasound to determine the sex of the baby and he/she would NOT cooperate. Then they gave me the baby and I kept telling them to put it back, it wasn't done cooking yet. And the baby still wouldn't cooperate and let me know what it is. I'm clearly not too anxious!

And lastly, I was watching the NBC Evening News last night and they were doing a segment on this years college graduates. It was a montage of graduates, speakers and graduation-related images - nothing really all that special. And wouldn't you know, I cried for most of it. I'm a MESS.

Yay for Friday!

Well, I almost ate better this week. I definitely do better if I plan ahead. I was better with lunches and snacks and all that, until yesterday. I'm still unsure where this sweet-tooth has come from but such is life.

I definitely look pregnant these days. Well, some days I look fat and other days I look pregnant but I definitely have a belly going. I do feel very pleased about the fact that I can usually make it through the night without having to get up to pee every hour or so. Really, my big concern with getting up in the middle of the night is waking up Hunter and him thinking it's time to get up and play (aka eat). I've been sleeping well but have crazy vivid dreams. I mean, they are so vivid, I have a hard time determining if they were fact or fiction.

I have a doctor's appointment on Tuesday but don't expect anything fun and exciting to come from that (like an ultrasound). I'm sure they'll take more blood, I'll get poked and prodded and away I'll go. But the NEXT appointment is the biggy - 20 weeks (oh, and the halfway point!!!) and we get to find out the gender!! I'm excited to know a little something about what's coming our way. (My good friend had an ultrasound today, at 12 weeks, and they think she's having a boy and I'm all jealous that she learned that!!) I've had a bunch of people tell me they think it's a girl but who knows, we'll just have to wait and see.

Food

I made a decision today that I was going to try and do some cooking, eat healthy and get back to focusing on my diet (this was after I saw Sex and the City and ate some popcorn). Before I was pregnant I was usually pretty good about making some food and cutting fruits and veggies every Sunday, so I'd have some good food to eat during the week at work. I think since week 6, I haven't done that at all. I've tried. I've brought food and snacks to work but haven't been able to eat most of it. I have found myself leaning heavily towards the carb end of the spectrum - bagels, pasta, rice, bread and so on. But no more. Or at least I'm going to try no more. I cooked today and made some food, cut some fruit and so on. Hopefully tomorrow I can eat the food I've prepared. I guess we'll have to see.

Growing Pains

This morning, around 4:something, I had the WORST pain in my lower abdomen. Sure enough, round ligament pains have started in full force. I thought I was having them before, I was wrong. I was woken out of a deep sleep with this incredible cramp like feeling. It is not comfortable, to say the least. I know it's all part of making room for things to grow and all but does it have to be so painful?

Another piece of news yesterday - I'm a carrier for cystic fibrosis. That doesn't mean LBH has CF but it does require further testing on Paul's part. He'll go in on Friday for some blood work to determine if he too is a carrier. If we're both carriers, which hopefully we're not, then there's a 25% chance that LBH will have CF (and a 75% chance he/she will NOT). If Paul is not a carrier then we should be fine. Here's to hoping that Paul isn't a carrier.

A great weekend!

We had a great weekend in Panama City Beach (the Redneck Riviera) with our fabulous friends. It was very relaxing and enjoyable. I think I read 3 books, did some crossword puzzles and took several naps. It's interesting to be the pregnant lady in a group of 8. That means that I'm fairly anal about eating meals, drinking lots of water, and I'm stuck as the designated driver all weekend!!! We had a lot of laughs (my friend "sang" Sabotage into a megaphone at a restaurant - maybe you had to be there) and really enjoyed getting out of town. I am down to a very limited wardrobe, many of my shorts don't fit and I spent most of the weekend in maternity gear. I felt quite like a beached whale in my beach chair but such is life!!

Food

I don't think I like food anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm eating like there's no tomorrow but nothing appeals to me. Take tonight for example. I was thinking of making pork tenderloin, it's all defrosted and everything. But that sounds kind of gross. And Paul suggested this restaurant that we like, that also sounds kind of gross. I could really use a big salad. Gross. Eggs? Gross. Pizza? Maybe not as gross but not what I need. I haven't really had these feelings about food until lately. I don't know why now I've lost my love of all things good and healthy. I sure hope this passes....

1/3 down, 2/3 to go

I am now officially in my second trimester!! I can't say I feel any different yet. I slept terribly the "first night" of my second trimester but I'm pretty sure that didn't have anything to do with anything except an over-active mind. I've also taken a couple of naps, a continuation of the first trimester sleepiness. I did make the mistake of not eating enough for breakfast on Friday morning and wow, did I feel ill. I won't be doing that again.

I find with each passing day more clothes that don't fit. I was fortunate to get a huge bin of hand-me-downs from a friend the other day. I need to move some of my regular clothes out and move the maternity clothes in. I may almost have a full wardrobe!!

I've had some weird thoughts over the past week or so around where we'll be a year from now. We went to the Braves game the other night and I thought, "huh, a year from now I'll have a 6 month old and I won't be hanging out at the Braves game." Or how next year at Mother's Day I'll have a little baby. Now that's some crazy stuff.

Moving along

Yesterday I had my first big doctor's appointment. There was lots of poking and prodding, I got to see a video and they gave me tons of free prenatal vitamin samples. It was all very exciting. I did get to hear the heartbeat again, now that was exciting. I did get nervous because it took her a little while to find it but she found it and it was going strong. The midwife said I was moving along nicely and they'd see me again in 4 weeks. Hopefully, after the next visit I'll get to schedule another ultrasound and we can find out if LBH is a boy or girl!!

The downside to a large practice is that I was there for 2+ hours and spent most of the time waiting. Then, when it was all said and done, they wanted me to talk to the financial coordinator, who was with another patient, and I really needed to get back to work. They seemed irritated with me that I wouldn't spend even more time there, that I actually had to leave. I guess the financial lady was going to call me but she didn't. I assume they'll just send me some big, huge bill.

I love technology

Check out Little Baby Holder (LBH)!!! LBH is measuring 12 weeks today and is doing great. He/She has a strong heartbeat that I was able to hear for the first time!! It was so cool, I cried. He/she has little arms and legs and looks like a person, not a weeble wobble anymore. I love the second picture with the legs up in the air. The ultrasound tech was pushing on my stomach today so LBH was flipping around and moving a lot and even flashed his/her butt at us!!! It was soooo cool.

I've decided that the pain in my butt isn't sciatica after all. Apparently I come from a long line of pains in the butts!! No, my mom said that for all 3 of her pregnancies, she too had a pain in her butt. I guess I just come by it naturally.

I've also started having round ligament pain. According to BabyCenter.com, "the round ligaments surround your uterus in your pelvis. As your uterus grows during pregnancy, the ligaments stretch and thicken to accommodate and support it. These changes can occasionally cause pain on one or both sides of your abdomen." Needless to say, getting up and especially sneezing can cause sharp pains in my lower stomach. Eventually they will stretch out and it won't be a problem anymore.

I'm almost 1/3 of the way to LBH's debut!!

A pain in my butt

Literally. Apparently, my sciatic nerve is acting up. My butt hurts and the pain shoots down my leg and it's very uncomfortable. It's worse in the morning than at night but man, it hurts. Oh, and without supplying too much info, my chest hurts. Sleeping is very uncomfortable and I may have to start wearing a bra to bed. And wow am I tired. I'm often sleepier at 7 or 8 than I am at 10 or 11 which makes bed time tough. I think I could have slept all day today, I didn't but I may be awake all night anyway.

Really though, I'm almost done with the first trimester and I should get some of my energy back. One can only hope.

The word is out

I've communicated to the "masses" about our upcoming joy! I told the last few people at work yesterday and know that they will take care of the rest. People seem very excited about our news!!! Someone did say to me yesterday, "I thought your boobs were bigger." Gee, thanks.

There are a couple more people that I will tell tomorrow (my book club) and then I think that's it. If I didn't tell you, please don't take it personally. It's hard to cover all those bases!!!

I'm still feeling good, just tired. My nails are ridiculously long and I had to cut them before I came to work today or I wouldn't be able to type. I am going to go shopping for some maternity clothes after work today. I don't really need them yet but it won't be too much longer when my new "fat" clothes don't fit anymore either....

Feeling....

Huge.
Tired.
Bloated.
Tired.
Huge.
Tired.
Uncomfortable.
Tired.
My clothes don't fit.
And only in my first trimester.

Baby pictures!

Our first pictures of Little Baby Holder! LBH is measuring in at 9 weeks 3 days and has a healthy heartbeat of 167 bpm. His/her current due date is 11/21 but that's always subject to change and her whims and desires!

What a great week

We just returned from a great week in Hawaii. We had a wonderful time relaxing, sunning, sleeping and visiting old friends (Paul's friends from high school). The weather was excellent - sunny, warm with a nice breeze. We went to the beach, we went to a luau, we did a little hiking and visited some beautiful beaches. We went to Kaua'i for 5 days and then to Oahu (Waikiki) for 2 days. I definitely like Kaua'i better. It's much less developed, no where near as commercial, and has tons and tons less people. Kaua'i is called the Garden Isle for a reason!!

My first doctor's appointment is tomorrow!! YAY!

Going on Vacation!

Tomorrow we're off for a week in Hawaii!!! We'll spend 5 days in Kauai and 2 days in Waikiki. I'm sure it's going to be fabulous!!!

Getting ready for a 9 hour flight is never a good time. I tend to need reading material, entertainment, food, drinks, a pillow, iPods, computers and on and on and on. And that's just a normal trip. This time though, food is much more important. And I need food that can cover a spectrum of possible desires.

Of late, starchy foods seem to work best. I feel better in the morning than I do at night. The entire concept of making dinner and eating and smelling it, does NOT excite me at all. I'm trying to get in fruits and veggies but again, they work better in the morning. I'm hoping this is just a passing phase and that once we arrive in Hawaii, I'll be ALL better!

After Hawaii I'll be 10 weeks and close to the end of my first trimester. From what I've read, I should be feeling better once I hit my second!

Aloha!

Feeling like crap

Wow, today was a bad day. I wasn't sick or anything but I felt terrible. I was nauseous and food was unappetizing but if I didn't eat I was definitely going to be sick. Damned if you do, damned if you don't.

What a Great Weekend!!

Finally, I got to tell my family!!! We had such a great weekend!

We went to CT for Baba's 90th birthday and it was wonderful to see my family (immediate and distant) together for such a great occasion. It was a weekend full of celebrations - my grandmother turned 90, my brother got engaged, and I'm pregnant!!! It was really fun. My family is so excited for our news - mom jumped up and down and shouted and everything. She's been great about being one of those moms that's never pressured me to have kids. It was definitely apparent how excited she is to be a grandparent though!!

I told Baba on Saturday at the party. We both got all teary. She is so excited to be a great grandmother!! It's the best present that I could have given to her, I think.

I'm so happy to finally be able to ask my mom about her experiences (no morning sickness for her!!) and potentially learn a little about what my experience will be like. She said that she'd never felt better in her life than she did when she was pregnant. I'm not sure that's going to happen to me but maybe I'll get lucky!!

8 weeks down!

My pants don't fit

I haven't gained any weight (yet) but man, my pants are SO tight. I put on my Bella Band this morning and just felt like it was too soon to be wearing it so I took it off. Paul was kind of making fun of me too, that didn't help. Now I wish I'd left it on. Wow, am I uncomfortable. Starting any minute now I'm going to be wearing moo-moo's and sweats 24/7. I need to get over the "I'm only 8 weeks" and just be comfortable!!

Am I Paranoid?

Paul and I were to go to Mexico in 12 days and we were really excited!! But I've had this paranoid feeling about the trip. I'm nervous about being 9 weeks pregnant, going to a foreign country where the water and the fruit are questionable. I'm nervous that if something were to happen, we don't speak the language (beyond, "Una mas cerveza, por favor"), I would be an hour from the hospital and we wouldn't have a clue what was going on.

So, I picked a new location.

We're going to HAWAII!!!! Believe it or not, I was able to rebook our trip to a new location with minimal penalties and we're going to Hawaii instead. We'll spend 5 nights in Kauai and 2 nights in Waikiki. I'm VERY excited!!

Hopefully the paranoia is for naught but better to be safe than sorry.

I wanted symptoms....

I was telling Paul the other day that I didn't feel pregnant. I generally feel fine. I'm not tired, my breasts aren't sore, I'm a little tired but that's not all that unusual, and no morning sickness.

Until now. I'm not throwing up or anything but man, my stomach is unhappy. I'm quite nauseous. Yesterday I thought for sure I was going to get sick. I started on yoga type breathing (or Lamaze junior) - short, quick breaths, I forced down a piece of toast and managed to keep it all in. Repeat that exercise this morning.

I've read that you should eat often, small meals or snacks. It's hard though in those hours between 11pm and 8am. I wonder if I'll have to set the alarm for 2am to eat some peanut butter toast.

Really though, I can't complain. Some people have terrible "morning" sickness and are ill all the time. A little nausea isn't so bad after all.

My head almost popped off

Last night my book club met for our monthly book discussion. I use the term "book discussion" loosely as there usually isn't a lot of book talk but there's a lot of life talk. Last night was no exception.

Of the 6 people there, 4 people have kids, Megan is due in June and I'm not talking. Last night there was a LOT of talk about baby births. What to expect at the hospital, when should family and in-laws come, what is helpful, take everything from the hospital because you're going to be charged for it anyway and so on. I was definitely paying attention to everything everyone said and I wanted to ask a ton of questions but instead, I just sat there. I thought I was going to explode!

My book club friends are the perfect people to have this conversation with. They've been there, done that or are going through it now. I know that doesn't mean that we can't have the same conversations later but I really wanted to participate now!

We meet next on April 30th and by then our trip to Mexico will be complete (another stresser), I will have had my first doctors appointment and my mom will know. (I definitely can't be telling people before I tell my mom!) By then, I can tell EVERYONE!

What does that mean?

Being pregnant is weird. My stomach either has some kind of pressure or a cramp or intense pain and I have no idea why.

Last night, I had a TERRIBLE cramp. I mean, awful. And it went on for 15 minutes or so. I have to assume it was some ligament stretching or my uterus is growing but who knows. And since I am not telling anyone, I can't ask anyone. "Hey, did this happen to you? Is it normal? Should I be concerned?"


With every little (or big) pain or stab or cramp or ache I can't help but wonder, "Is something wrong?" I'm petrified of the potential of losing the baby. I mean, I understand that if something happens then it wasn't meant to be and we're better off in the long run. But that doesn't make me any less paranoid. And there's not a thing I can do about it. Nada.

I talked to my friend Jen last night for a bit and we even talked about babies and I didn't say anything. I don't want to say something and then what if something goes wrong? I just feel like it's too early to be telling everyone yet. I can't wait to tell my mom though. I can't wait to ask her how she felt when she was pregnant. Did she have morning sickness? Did she have aches and pains? What was her pregnancy experience like? Only 10 days or so until I can tell them!

Baby Fever is Real!

I went to Babies-r-Us today at lunch to pick up some shower gifts for a friend and a cousin of Paul's. Oh my. First off, that place is abnormally large considering it sells items for such tiny people. I mean, a new born baby weighs maybe 8 or 9 pounds (hopefully a little less), how can they possibly require so much stuff!!

Regardless, I can't wait! I can't wait to be able to buy little baby socks and little baby clothes. I'm a tad overwhelmed by the prospects of registering and trying to choose between 1 of 800 car seats. But that's what friends are for, right? I'll be looking to all my friends with tiny little people of their own to help me determine what I will need and won't need. I can see how it would be easy to end up with thousands of dollars worth of items, many of which you really don't need.

I did see lots of bedding that I liked for the nursery. I don't really have preferences between having a boy or a girl but the girl stuff sure is cute!! Not that my girl will be dressed like a girly-girl while I still have control....

What an Exciting Day!

Yesterday was a great day! First, we got the official news!! That was great day item #1.
Then...

Last night we went over to Jim and Ellen's for dinner with Paul's mom, his sister Janet, and his cousins Amanda, Tricia and Becki. I've never met Becki before but she's 6 months pregnant. Well, we're sitting and hanging out when Tricia says, "I have some news!" Turns out not only is she pregnant, but she's having twins!!! And in all the screaming and excitement, Janet turns to me and says, "If you have something to say you better come clean." Well, of course I turned 60 shades of red and nodded my head and said, "Yes, we're pregnant too!" Then there was more hugging and screaming all the way around. It was great!! Of course, the entire rest of the night was all baby talk. Baby this and baby that. Poor Paul, he was overwhelmed, and probably a little bored.

We weren't planning on saying anything to family for at least a couple more weeks but things don't always work out the way you planned. And I wouldn't have said anything if Janet hadn't looked at me specifically and asked me that. I have the worst poker face!

I can't wait until April 4th so I can tell my parents too!

I'M HAVING A BABY!!!

It's OFFICIAL. I went to my GP today and they did the "real" test and it was all kinds of positive. I was practically singing and dancing in the doctor's office. I hugged the PA that I see there, she was all excited. I was even gloating with the receptionist.

WOOHOOO!!!

We're going to wait until about the 8th week before we tell family. We're in CT the weekend of April 5th so we can tell my family then. Paul's mom comes back up on April 9th so we can tell her then. I wonder if we'll make it that long...

OH MY!!!!

Holy crap!!! I took the test and it came out positive. The second pink line was pale but it was there!! I actually took 3 tests and they were all positive.

The soon-to-be proud papa isn't here tonight so he doesn't know yet. I ran to Baby's-r-Us and bought an "I love my daddy" outfit that I'll give to him when he gets home. This is freakin' crazy!!

According to the 15 websites I checked, my due date will be November 16th.

I need to go find my What to Expect book that Tiffany gave me!!

Could I be?

Well, there's no sign of my cycle at all and it was due yesterday. I took a test on Thursday and it was negative but that doesn't necessarily mean that I'm not pregnant. I could be but I'm trying not to get my hopes up. It's hard not to get my hopes up. If I am pregnant, I'd be almost 5 weeks already!

Tomorrow....

I could take a test tomorrow to see if I'm pregnant. I doubt I am. I may wait another day. No sign of my cycle yet so that's a good sign.

I do feel a lot calmer about it this month than last month. Maybe that's a sign. What would be weird is that if I am pregnant, I'd be four weeks already.

It's that time again

If I'm not pregnant, I should be getting my period this week. I don't really know when I'm going to get it, maybe Friday. I don't think I'm pregnant. Just ask Paul, I'm pretty moody. I'm going to be sad and disappointed if I'm not pregnant. I want to have a baby!! I seem to notice more and more people that are pregnant or have small babies. Me too me too!!

The baby making continues

No baby yet. At least that we know of. We're officially 1/2 way through month 2 so really, we havne't been trying that long. I feel like I'm uber-conscious of everything baby. Babies here and there. We were walking through Target yesterday and I was a bit overwhelmed by all the baby items. I did see some really cute things but I don't know what you'd do with half of it.

I'm not pregnant....

After my last post, that very night, I got my period. I guess I'm not pregnant. I mean, I'm not surprised by that but I'm a little sad and disappointed. I've imagined myself with a baby. I've pictured what it would be like for Paul and I to have a little family with a little baby. I can kind of imagine the sleepless nights and the nasty diapers. It will be so much easier to imagine when I know there's a baby in my stomach. I'm trying not to get ahead of myself but it's hard, it's hard not to think about all the time.

Am I Pregnant?

For starters, my stomach could not be more topsy-turvy. I think I'm either pregnant or lactose intolerant. Those are the only explanations I have for what's wrong with my stomach.

I've had headaches.

I've been nauseous.

Oh, and I didn't get my cycle. I should have gotten it last weekend but I didn't. There was a little something but spotting isn't uncommon when you're pregnant. So I could be pregnant, but I doubt it. I mean, what are the odds that we'd get pregnant in the first month? I've been on the pill for almost 20 years so it's only normal that my cycle would be all out of wack. Right?

I'm trying not to get too excited so I won't be disappointed if I am pregnant. I'd also like to think I'm so fat because I'm pregnant but that's just me being silly. I did that all on my own. I'm pretty sure if I take an EPT, it will be negative. But I guess I'm supposed to wait a few more days before I take one. Maybe I'll take it Thursday. I think what would be hugely crazy is that if I was pregnant, I'd be 5 weeks already!

Baby Talk Takes Over

It's amazing to me the number of people who ask if I'm pregnant. And really, if I were pregnant, I wouldn't tell you anyway. It's pretty safe to say that we won't tell you until the first trimester is over.

It's pretty overwhelming the number of conversations I've had about babies lately. Before we started talking about kids, I never had a conversation about sleep and diapers and babies. I was around for a few but never really contributed to any. And now, they are everywhere. Baby this and baby that. And I don't even have a baby. I guess we're at that stage in life where people are either having kids, thinking about kids, or maybe just paying more attention